The Bet
by Silvery Mist
Summary: Hughes makes a bet with Roy in an attempt to set his friend up with Riza. Royai


**A/N:** This is a collaborated story between **Jack Bauer Reborn** and I. While I was writing _Friday Night_ **Jack Bauer Reborn **mentioned that the bar setting in my story reminded him of the bar scene from the movie _Top Gun_. I thought the idea was amusing and suggested he write a variation of it involving Roy, Maes, and Riza. It eventually ended up that we would pass the story back and forth to each other, combining our thoughts and opinions into this one story.

**Disclaimer:** We don't own Full Metal Alchemist, Top Gun, or the U2 song in the story. We're simply borrowing them and promise to return them in good condition.

* * *

"You know, Roy, this is what I call a 'target-rich' environment."

Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes and Colonel Roy Mustang had walked into The Munitions Locker, a bar next to the officers' mess at Eastern Headquarters that was known for its resemblance to the base armoury. Normally, The Munitions Locker was full of servicemen and women who were looking to relax a bit after a long day at work. However, the military had recently sponsored a skills competition, where every base sent their best men and women. Prizes were awarded to the winners, and the base which represented itself best also got the ability to call themselves the best in the country as well as taking home a trophy. Today was the opening reception, where competitors showed up in dress uniform and were allowed to mingle and make some friends before competition started the next day.

Hughes and Mustang were responsible for a large amount of the logistics involved in the event and were in the bar to relax after a hectic day of scheduling and organization. Mustang shook his head while he led Hughes, who was taking in his surroundings with a wide grin, towards the bartender.

"Yeah, yeah, Hughes. I don't see why you're looking around though. You're married. Wouldn't Gracia get mad if she found out you were checking out other women?"

"Hey!" Hughes turned back to his friend. "First of all, I love my wife. Second, we have a 'look, but don't touch' agreement."

"You do, huh?" Roy asked, unconvinced.

"You bet," Hughes beamed. "Third, I'm checking out the bar for a potential wife for you."

"Sure, whatever." Roy turned to the bartender. "Two beers please." When the bartender handed him two bottles, he handed one to Hughes. "So, see any potentials?" he asked, taking a swig from his bottle.

"I most certainly do," replied Hughes with an even bigger grin than before. Roy shuddered at his friend's enthusiasm. He was pretty sure he didn't want to know who Hughes had on his radar. "The blonde beauty over at that far table would make an excellent wife for you." Hughes nodded over in the direction of Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, who was talking to Lieutenant Maria Ross.

"Can you please drop that?" asked Roy, somewhat annoyed. "I'm starting to think you and her grandfather have some intricate, highly classified, covert operation in the works to get us to the altar together."

"Hmm…that reminds me, the Lieutenant General_ did _say he wanted to talk to me about something regarding you late—OW! That hurt!" Hughes rubbed his right arm where Roy had punched him. "Come on. You like her and she likes you. It's so obvious from the body language. Why won't you two just drop the act and do it already? Even Elysia says you two would make beautiful babies."

"Who taught Elysia about making babies?"

Hughes grinned. "Well..."

"You know what? Don't answer that."

"Alright." Hughes said, smirking.

"Listen Maes, I came here to unwind and maybe get a little drunk, not to hit on my subordinate. Besides, did you forget there's something in the military called the anti-fraternization rule?"

"I didn't forget. Besides, a little one night stand wouldn't hurt would it?

"You're impossible," Roy muttered under his breath. He looked around the bar for something to change the topic and noticed a private setting up a few microphones on the stage. "Looks like it's karaoke night tonight. This should be good."

"I'm sure it will be," replied Hughes as another idea formed in his mind. He mentally calculated how much alcohol it would take to set his plan in motion.

* * *

Two hours later, they were still at The Munitions Locker but considerably more intoxicated. They were now on their sixth beer while watching a stream of officers demonstrate their non-existent singing talents.

"You know, Hughes," said Roy, "I bet I'm a much better singer than all of them."

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure. Name your terms."

Knowing that Mustang was much more drunk than he was, Hughes saw this as an opening. "Dedicate your song to Hawkeye, and then use your charm on her. If you're half as good as you say you are, this should be easy."

Roy grinned. Playing to his ego was a cinch.

"We all know you want Hawkeye and she wants you, so this is the perfect chance to hook up. All you need to do is be good enough for her to think you're awesome or something."

"How much?"

"Fifty thousand." Hughes took a swig. "Come on man, this is the perfect way for you to get it on with Hawkeye."

Roy thought about it for a bit. The bet was simple enough.

"Deal."

Roy placed his half finished beer bottle on the bar counter and made his way over to the line forming around the stage so that he could get his turn with the microphone. When his turn finally arrived, he stepped up to the microphone and tapped to make sure it was on.

"Ahem. Um, this one is for a very special person in my life. If it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't still be around."

* * *

Both Maria Ross and Riza Hawkeye looked up at the stage as a familiar voice echoed through the room.

"Um, Riza, isn't that your commanding officer?" asked Maria

Embarrassed, Riza said, "Yeah, it is."

"Did he just dedicate a song to you?"

_Please God, let me be dreaming,_ thought Riza as Roy prepared to sing.

* * *

On cue, one of Roy's favourite U2 songs started playing over the speakers. Closing his eyes, he began swaying in time to the music before realizing that he was too intoxicated to maintain his balance this way. Instead, he removed the microphone from the stand and started walking towards his subordinate, trying his best not to trip over the wires running across the stage.

_I have climbed highest mountain_

_I have run through the fields_

_Only to be with you_

_Only to be with you_

_I have run_

_I have crawled_

_I have scaled these city walls_

_These city walls_

_Only to be with you_

_But I still haven't found what I'm looking for_

_But I still haven't found what I'm looking for_

When Roy finished, he was standing in front of Hawkeye and all he could do was smile at the cheers he was getting from the other drunken officers in the bar. When Hawkeye motioned for him to sit down, Mustang handed his microphone to Lieutenant Breda, who was next in line. As Breda's terrible Bono impression filled the air, Roy sat down next to Riza and her friend.

Riza looked directly into Roy's eyes, frowning, "Sir, please don't ever do that again."

"I'm not 'sir' here, Riza," answered Roy, unfazed by her glare. Then he added, "Didn't you like my little performance?"

"You're drunk," replied Riza, ignoring his question. Maria giggled.

"What makes you say that?"

"You wouldn't sing 'I still haven't found what I'm looking for' when you're sober, even if I put a gun to your head."

Roy laughed. "Nice try, Lieutenant. You'd never shoot me over something that trivial." He leaned closer to his subordinate and whispered into her ear, "You know, you should let your hair down when you're off duty. You're so much sexier that way." She blushed.

"Excuse me…I gotta go somewhere," Riza stammered as she hastily got up from the table.

Maria and Roy watched Riza head towards the women's restroom. When Roy figured out where Riza was going, he started to get up as well.

"Sir," Maria started, trying to stop him, "that's probably not a good idea."

"I said not to call me 'sir' here," he responded. "And there's a lot riding on this. Don't worry. I'll be fine." Roy headed for the restroom. Maria was about to stop him when she felt a hand on her shoulder stopping her.

"He'll be fine, Lieutenant," Hughes said.

"Um, sir?"

"Yes?"

"She's armed."

Hughes' face paled a little at the thought of what the lieutenant might do if Roy actually walked in on her in the restroom. "I think I better go follow him," he muttered and set off to follow his intoxicated friend.

* * *

Riza didn't seem at all surprised when Roy walked into the women's restroom with a flourish and locked the door behind him. She just stood there in front of the mirror applying her lip gloss. When she was done, she dropped it back into her purse and turned to face her superior.

"Colonel, this is the women's restroom. The men's room is on the other side of the hall."

"I know."

"Then would you care to explain why you're here?"

"You never answered my question earlier," he sulked.

Riza let out of a sigh. He was really persistent when drunk. "It was a nice gesture but I prefer you show your appreciation for me in a less public way."

Roy grinned. "Well, it was Hughes's suggestion so you can blame him for the embarrassment." He took a few steps closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. "But you know, Lieutenant," he smirked, "since we're in here, we might as well get to know each other a bit more. If you'll like, I can even show you more of my appreciation in a more personal way."

"Here?" Riza asked incredulously, pointing towards the floor.

Roy put his hands on the counter and pushed twice, testing it to see how much weight it would support. "No. The counter seems like it can hold us both, unless you'd be more comfortable there," he said, pointing at the same area that Riza had been.

Riza smiled. "Not tonight, Colonel." Roy pouted a little before regaining his composure and leaned in closer. "I prefer something softer, and I doubt that you could live up to your 'Mustang' name in your current condition."

Roy chuckled. "Believe me. I have a foolproof way for me to live up to my name."

Riza raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And this plan does not involve us having sex on the restroom counter?

"No sex. I promise. There's even something in it for you if you hear me out."

Knowing that Roy was not someone who would lie to her, Riza nodded. "I'm listening."

"First, you have to unbutton your shirt."

* * *

Hughes stood outside the women's restroom mentally berating himself for not bringing a camera or tape recorder. _This would have been perfect blackmail material._ He looked down at his watch. _Ten minutes. Hopefully they won't be in there for too much longer._ Suddenly, the door opened and a slightly flushed Hawkeye stepped out. Hughes took a quick glance over her. Her uniform was a little wrinkled and the top button was not completely fastened, but her hair was still up in her usual clip without a single strand out of place. _It doesn't look like she just had a quickie,_ he thoughtjust as the blonde woman noticed his presence. She smiled and walked up to him.

"In case you're wondering, sir, he's amazing." Then, without another word, she made her way back to Maria Ross, who was wondering if Riza really would have sex in the restroom of a bar that was at capacity with her commanding officer.

_That sneaky bastard, he actually did it._ Hughes smacked his hand on his forehead just as Roy walked out the women's restroom, adjusting his uniform jacket. "Pay up, buddy," he ordered, holding out his palm.

Hughes pulled out his wallet and extracted a 50,000 cenz bill. "I'm amazed you were able to get it up after all that alcohol," he muttered as he handed Roy the bill.

Roy grinned as he took the bill. "Who said I did?"

"Huh?"

"The bet only said that she had to say I was good. You never said we actually had to do it."

"But she said you were amazing..."

"I told her to do that."

"You ordered her to tell me that you had sex?"

"No, we made a deal."

"You bribed her to say that to me?"

Roy shrugged. "'Bribe' isn't exactly the right word. I just promised to finish all my paperwork for the rest of the week by 1300 tomorrow in return."

"That's cheap."

"Yeah, well that should teach you to not try and mess with my love life even when I'm drunk." He clamped an arm around Hughes's shoulder as he led him back to the bar. "Come on," he said while waving the bill, "the next drink's on me."

* * *

**A/N: **In case anyone's wondering, we're assuming that 50,000 cenz is approximately 50 USD.


End file.
